The Rapacious and Rowdy Rodent

September 24, 2025

You might be thinking this is about rats
No. It’s about squirrels that are driving us bats
The squirrels are fat pigs
They ate all the figs
They are basically behaving like brats

To Ravenna Blvd, I pointed the way
Hoping that there the squirrels might stay
The oaks fill the street
There is plenty to eat
But just 100 yards is their limit for play!

All throughout FECO there are holes
One would think we have moles
Just loosen the soil
And immediately they toil
Digging up plants being one of their roles!

These are tree squirrels – get it?
In the fruit trees? You can bet it!
They knock the fruit down
Then take a bite on the ground
They’ve wasted an apple and don’t fret it

It would be nice to see a big owl
Or to hear from the coyote a howl
Even a cat with some clout
Could usher them out
Hmm. Would a slingshot be called foul?

Could climate change help cook their goose?
So fewer are out there on the loose
But the scientists say
An increase is on the way
Annual precipitation is evidently the excuse!

There are plenty of ideas on the net
From other frustrated gardeners we bet
The capsicum/mothball route
Or plastic forks sticking out
But none of these have worked for us yet

Oh my! The time that we spend on pests
It’s more than all of the rest!
We could work much harder
But the squirrels just seem smarter
We’re doomed to accept them as guests

Ruth

Note:

The squirrels that you see all around you are the non-native Eastern gray squirrel (Sciurus griseus). Washington State’s native squirrels include the large, silvery-gray Western Gray Squirrel (endangered), the reddish-brown Douglas Squirrel (or chickaree), the rusty-red Red Squirrel, and the nocturnal, dark-eyed Northern Flying Squirrel.R

References:

Influence of the social hierarchy on gray squirrel behavior
James Carl Pack, June 1966
Virginia Polytechnic Institute
https://vtechworks.lib.vt.edu/server/api/core/bitstreams/e879f39d-5a52-49a4-ab23-bebfe011cd2a/content

Forecasting Habitat Suitability in the United States for Eastern Gray Squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) in 2050 Using MaxEnt Approach.
Rezaul Bari Ishan, December, 2024
American Geophysical Union 2024 Conference
https://agu.confex.com/agu/agu24/meetingapp.cgi/Paper/1751980

Living with wildlife: Tree squirrels
Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife
https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/living/species-facts/tree-squirrels#legal